Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?
Martha: Ooh, I’ve red nail polish on.
George: That’s not true. It’s black. Black is my favorite color.
Martha: Screw you! It’s red.
George: Okay Martha. It’s red. But listen, we can’t be together anymore. Your nail polish obsession is driving me nuts, plus it’s too hard to find a job nowadays.
Martha: Oh George, I can’t live without you. I’ll give up all the make up for just one more day with you.
George: One day? Okay, you can have one more day. But after that don’t expect anything from me.
Martha [hums a song by Dire Straits]: I dreamed your dream for you, and now your dream is real… How can you look at me like I’m just another one of your deals?
George: Nice song. I think I’ll fall for some pretty strangers tonight. Or better still, I’ll just have a small affair with my cousin. She’s rad.
Martha [looks incredulously at George]: Please don’t do that, you know that I love you.
George: Yes, baby, I love you too.
Martha: Then why don’t you show it? Why don’t you tell me?
George [impatiently]: Oh, fa’ Christ’s sake… Martha, how many times do I need to reassure you? Anyway, you distract me too much. You’re always hanging around. You’re too close for comfort. It’s suffocating me. I never had this problem with my ex-wives, and they were pretty too.
Martha: Can’t we sort this out? I mean, just hold on… this is worth it. Why didn’t you call me when I was sick and diagnosed with that… that… horrible thing.
George: I had my reasons. You should have sorted out that fight with my mom. You could have apologized.
[suddenly stern] Martha, why don’t you ever listen to me? You should do what I tell you. You always used to do that. Ever since you got the new job, you seem to believe that you are always right. Mom doesn’t think that this is a good thing. And you know how much I love her.
Martha: But… but… you had that fight with her last week and called her a fat cow.
George: Oh, that’s different. Anyway, when are you going to say sorry to her?
Martha: Oh, I did… I called her so many times. The first few times she just hung up on me, and then she yelled at me. I said sorry, I did, I did…
George: Well, okay. I wish you could both just get on with your lives instead of holding that stupid grudge against each other. But it doesn’t matter anyway, ‘cos we aren’t getting married.
Martha: We… we aren’t?
George: Why of course Martha, we aren’t. I’m Roman Catholic, you’re Protestant. How will it work out? You’re too modern for my family.
Martha: But George… what about the other night? When you held me in your arms and said that you loved me and that you would be with me forever?
George: Aw… eventually, when I get a nice job, maybe we can work something out. But till then, I’m the same as all of your other friends to you and you’re the same to me as my female friends… ah, except the ones I have affairs with. We are just good friends from now on, okay?
Martha [begs, pleads]: I’ll die without you, George, I love you too much.
George: Screw it, I can’t hurt you baby, let’s go and clip our toenails and have some sex now.
Martha [happy]: Yeah! I’ll get the toenail clipper…
George: I’ll get the condoms.
Shreya Sanghani graduated from The Cambridge School, Calcutta, in the summer of 2007. In her gap year between high school and college, she has been a freelancer, an activist, an intern and a teacher.